Recently, I came across a list of ways to Stop Toxic People From Ruining Your Mood by Lucy Tiven and was mesmerized by the ways in which we can affect and be affected by each other.  I decided to dive deeper into the emerging ideas around emotional contagions.

You may not realize just how impacted you are by the people - and places - around you. "Places?" you may be asking. Yes! When we were kids, my father would often tell my sister and I, "Your environment is a mirror of your mind..." which was incredibly frustrating to hear. "What does that have to do with anything?" I thought. But there was some truth to it.  In actuality, I wasn't known for keeping a tidy room growing up, and also, was somewhat notorious for being scatter brained... Are these things connected? Possibly! A recent study showed that a good environment will affect your well being and influence your decisions.

Similarly, the people you surround yourself with can greatly influence your mood, and those affects may last for hours, if not days. Dr Sigal Barsade, who has done studies on the affects of emotional contagions in the work place, says, "My research reveals that emotions, both positive and negative, actually spread among your employees like viruses." That means that when your co-worker is having a bad day, it can easily transfer to you.

What we don't realize is just how pervasive the affect of emotional contagions really is. Recent studies have shown that you don't have to even talk to or be in the same room with a person to catch their mood. A huge study conducted with the help of Facebook showed that we are constantly transferring our moods, good and bad, through social media, as well.

Now isn't that groundbreaking? Doesn't this stop you in your tracks? It does for me. So many people shrug this off, like, well yeah, if someone's in a bad mood, it'll affect me. But you're not listening. You don't even have to be in the same room as that person. You can be affected by the neighbor down the street. Another huge study done a few years ago showed how our emotions are shared and spread out, almost like a virus, to secondary and tertiary people - people you've never come into contact with. If you're having a particularly bad day, say you got into a car wreck or something similarly upsetting, the janitor who works in your office building may be feeling the affects of that without having ever come into contact with you.

And what exactly are we to do about the spread of emotions like a virus? How are we to protect ourselves? Because despite feeling very sorry about your wreck, I don't necessarily want to feel the same things you're feeling about it. Let me be clear, I won't even necessarily recognize that I am sad as a result of your wreck. If I haven't come into contact with you, don't know you, and haven't gotten the memo about your car wreck; I won't have any idea where the sad emotion is coming from.

Watch this next part because here is where the magic really happens.

If I don't know why I'm feeling this way, I'll plug in my own reasons for the emotion I'm experiencing. I may revisit old hurts, frustrations, or make a larger deal out of the thing my spouse said before I left for work when really: THE EMOTION I AM FEELING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THOSE THINGS. It's something I caught, from YOU.

But, as humans, we are all too quick to associate the feelings we are feeling with the circumstances we are experiencing. "I feel sad, maybe I hate my job?" we think.  We'll try to rationalize it, rather than recognize it for what it is: just energy!

Ah ha! You knew I'd find a way to make this weird. Yes, friends, energy. Energy is in everything, all of us. It's vibration and electricity and sunshine and potatoes and dog drool. It's in communication, both verbal (speaking creates sound, which is vibration), and nonverbal, (sight comes from the interaction of light with our eyes and light is energy as well), not to mention all of the chemistry at work in our brains, nervous systems, hormones, and etc. which are all sending messages too...

There is a tone and an implication in energy. We can tell the difference between a sad song and a happy song, we can tell the difference between a sad face and a happy face. We can enter a room in which there was just a fight and feel the tension in the air... We're actually pretty good at recognizing energy and understanding it! Go us!

Yes, these things are implicit signals that hit specific parts of our brain, which in turn initiate associated thoughts, actions and feelings in us. Our brains are like computers attempting to make sense and organize all of this information as it comes in through our senses. We are built to mimic the facial expressions and moods of those around us.  It's just part of how our biology evolved to help us to survive, but those tendencies mean we are tied to everyone close to us emotionally, around us physically, or connected to us via someone else or through networks like social media or other tech.

Why is this such a big deal? Because it could TOTALLY CHANGE THE WAY WE LOOK AT DEPRESSION, not to mention just the way we live, or how we think about our lives, who we are and other such items of import. What if people who are chronically depressed aren't actually depressed but actually just incredibly sensitive and susceptible to emotional contagions? Wouldn't that change how we would look at that? And how we treated it?

In a recent study, they found that disassociation is a powerful way to protect yourself from emotional contagions, aka, being objective. Now, if you're a particularly empathic, sensitive or compassionate person; you're not going to be objective when someone comes to you with a problem. You're going to keep yourself, for lack of a better word, 'open', to their emotions. It's just what you would do, which explains why social workers, doctors, nurses, and other caring professionals often experience burn out. That, and they just have very, very difficult jobs.

Here at Miylana, we work to teach people about energy. We speak openly about ways to protect ourselves from others' emotions and thoughts. We recognize that people are clued in, much more than even they realize, to the feelings and thoughts of others. But we are one of the very few companies working to help people recognize and change how they are interacting with energetic communication and emotional contagions. It is so important, in this overstimulating, ever-connected world, to learn how to do this because the amount of energy and emotional signals we are receiving has increased drastically (unless you live in a cave, that is) and people are actually going or feeling crazy because of it. Are you one of those people?

If you said yes then GOOD! EXCELLENT! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

Because you made to the end of the article and that's cool. And now to thank you - and this is exciting - we are offering you free access to one of our classes on energy! The class is the Level 1 of our Energy Mastery course, available through learnitlive.com. In the class, you'll learn how to identify if an emotion you are experiencing is actually yours. You'll also learn how to protect yourself better from others' emotions, and how to release other people's energy and emotions if you get infected. It's a very low key class, nothing fancy and stress free (no tests) just some great information and exercises. 

And it'll only be free til June 1st. So go take a look. It's super duper life changing and important.

MIYLANA'S CLASS ON ENERGY MASTERY LEVEL 1 - FOR FREE - TIL JUNE 1ST.
Click here to be sent an access code!

So until next time, take a look at the class, get an access code, listen to our How to Survive Earth School podcast in which we discuss this and similarly interesting and thought provoking ideas on the way we people operate, and ways to improve.  Let us know your thoughts! And share this information with others. It's groundbreaking and important and people do not know how much it could change their lives to stop the emotional contagion and start living from their own truth, thoughts, feelings, joy, love... everything!

We've all heard the normal relaxation techniques: deep breathing, get a massage or meditate, get outside and go for a walk. These things are great, but what if you can't do them right now or don't have the time or money? Then they certainly won't help. Or what if they just aren't your thing? Not everyone is going to love yoga, afterall.

There are many ways to relax in this world, but finding what works for you is hard when we are strapped for time. Many people may not consider unconventional options. Take a look below and maybe you'll find that something slightly off the beaten path is more your style.

1. Listen to ASMR 

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, and it is a growing field of interest to researchers. Take a look at an ASMR video on youtube, and you may be going, 'Huh?" but the results of listening or watching one are pretty interesting. The theory is that low stimulus sounds, such as whispering, the sound of someone flipping a magazine page, or brushing sand around, are actually very soothing, and help to activate brain waves usually associated with relaxation. It won't necessarily work for everyone, and some sounds might work better than others, but it's gaining interest and followers. Some videos on youtube have upwards of 400,000 views... that's pretty interesting! So go on youtube when you're at work or trying to chill out at home, and find a video. Maybe put in your headphones to block out other sounds, and see if it helps you to relax. Some ASMR-ers also report tingling sensations up their spine, around their skull, and in their hands and feet.

2. Scream Into a Pillow

Far different from listening to the soft soothing sounds of ASMR, sometimes, you just got to get out all the feels. Screaming can be a nice way to rev up and release. If you have a pillow, it might be better to use it to scream into rather than alarm the neighbors by yelling at the top of your lungs outside (that's how the police get called)!  Getting out a good yell can be cathartic, and release energy that may be blocked by stuck emotions. Don't be surprised if you end up having a good cry after your scream. If that happens, just know that whatever was stuck and been cleared, and let your body express itself how it needs. You'll definitely feel better after, and may even be able to come to a better solution because things are flowing more!

3. Have Yourself a Good Old Fashioned Tantrum

One level up from screaming would be letting yourself have a tantrum.  You want to make sure you are alone for this one. Remember, we're not yelling at ourselves, or hurting ourselves or others, but we are going to release pent up anger, frustration, and other pesky emotions by running amok, so to speak. Maybe hit your pillow instead of just screaming into it, run around, punch the air (and only the air), kick, spin around, roll on the ground kicking and screaming, and just let it all out. I often think we do ourselves a disservice by teaching children to store their emotions away rather than let it out with a good tantrum. Life's tough! We could learn something from our youngers, and remember that it's important to respect and honor our feelings by expressing them. If you've been swallowing feelings of anger, frustration, or have been overwhelmed, and stressed recently; then a good rage tantrum should do the trick. Just remember to use it as a tool rather than a behavior to fall back on when you're upset over something. Solving the problem should always be number one, but if you are having trouble releasing the frustration the problem created, then a good rage may be just the ticket.

4. Play a Game

If you have kids or a dog, then get out and play chase, tag, keep away, or something of the sort! Doing this can really help you make a big shift. If you are without playmates right at the moment, then consider signing up for a league of some sort in a game that you enjoy playing. It doesn't have to be sports either. I have roommates that de-stress by playing video games, but getting your body moving isn't a bad idea, either. Moving around, channeling your energy into something fun and constructive may be just what you need to get out the things that are bothering you and help you see it all from a new perspective.

5. Write a Strongly Worded Letter to Whatever is Bothering You

The letter doesn't have to be to a person, either. I have drafted a letter to the dishwasher before. In the letter I asked the dishwasher why, exactly, it needed to break the same week that I was starting a new job, having my landlord do a walk through, and didn't have the time or the energy to deal with fixing it. While I didn't send the letter (...to the dishwasher, that wouldn't make sense!) because just getting out my frustration with the turn of events helped me to get over it and move on. Writing things down is proven to help you to process them, and release the associated emotions. So whether it's to the dishwasher, or the car, or to Uncle Bill, or the guy who cut you off on the highway, get the emotions out by writing them down. Sending the letter is optional, and not always recommended, but writing it is a help all on it's own!

Here's a few of the messages I've received from you all these past couple of days:

"I don't even care it's the holidays... When it rains, it pours, if it can go wrong it will go wrong.  It's just all at once that I have to deal with finals and work out of the blue and shipping boxes and errands and people visiting for only a short time frame that can't be put it off until later... and then while at it, everything breaks..."
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"The anxiety this morning is way overwhelming and not even quite clear as to where it is coming from... It feels unmanageable and is making me feel like I want to run and hide.  The minute I got out the door it hit me like a ton of bricks."
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"December is my hardest month to get through.... I always get sick this time of year.  I get the most abuse when I need support.  When I feel bad about myself I get the extreme abuse.  What the f###? I know I am creating this.  This sucks!!"
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"I feel really f*cked up, lots of anxiety, and I really don't know what else I can do.  We just have a complete miscommunication over really basic stuff that should be talked out.  I don't know I just wanted to tell you.."
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 Wow, folks!  I wish I could wave my magic wand and help you all get rid of these overwhelming feelings, but unfortunately that's not the way this works!  As my angels and guides tell me it would be like being given the answers to the test and you wouldn't learn anything. So, this challenging, overwhelmed, no time, no support thing seems to be something we all just need to go through right now, including me.  I am so exhausted, overwhelmed, feeling mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I used to enjoy the holidays - decorating, cooking, baking and looking for special gifts, getting to spend more time with the ones I love...

Well, I wish I could tell you that it has been fun like that these last few years, but it has become more of "I don't want to do this"  than a joyous celebration. I hear this so often these days.  I can tell you as an empath and a human being, I feel it all and have gone through most of it and am continuing to work on my journey to be an unconditional loving being, but it's not easy!

It does not matter what level you are at, there is always more to learn and the lessons are pushing us all. There is so much to understand about what is taking place as we traverse this journey that is unlike any other. But one thing is for sure, we are on a journey that makes us feel, feel and feel some more.

Over the past few years, as the evolution of our planet has gone into overdrive, we are getting hit left and right with so much so often that most people can't take anymore. We are in a time where as I say often, no matter how much you run, hide, ignore, and/or try and numb it away, all of your fears will be in your face, growing bigger and bigger until we finally stop.  Stop being afraid of ourselves, each other, our future, our past and take a good long look at what we are doing and why. 

We are all over the place, out of control, feeling unsafe and afraid.  The changes are happening, faster and faster these days. "Our stuff" what ever it is for each of us, is making us sick and tired of being sick and tired, yet we still continue doing the "supposed to."  We've got to let go of that.

When others step in and help us prove our stuff, it doesn't help either.  We're all in this together, though, and everyone is growing and learning.  That's why we're all here.

I wish I could tell you an easy way to make it all better, all go away.  That is what the work is for!  At this time, though, we really have to do the work, so it can be easier, when we have those buttons pushed, and it's in our face.  We will know what it is trying to show us and help us with, instead of just repeating the same old programs to prove our beliefs about ourselves, other people and the world. It is also going to feel like we don't have time to do anything because we really don't have time to do anything!  Time is sped up.  Things are moving fast. So understanding what is going on is going to be imperative to your evolution.

Take solace knowing that many many people out there are having the same issues and frustrations pop up.  You are not alone.  The energy is crazy right now. It's there to push us towards doing this a better way, but we're still in progress, sort of in the middle of the hourglass, trying to make our way through to the better, lighter, happier other side.  

Do the work, because it will help. There is no way out only through, so it's up to you, your life, your spirit, your choice.  What do I mean by the work?  I mean learning to understand how we work, what it's really trying to help you with and the exercises, tools and tips I give you all to help you to feel better.  Sit down, breathe, meditate, shake off, look at why something makes you feel a certain way, where it's coming from and what it makes you feel about yourself ultimately.  Write it down, keep emailing your frustrations, get it all out.  Make a daily practice for yourself.  You have to do the work to have it have an affect on you.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, then go watch our Energy Basics and Energy Affects classes.  The first is 30 minutes and the second is an hour.  Find the time to learn what and how you can do to better protect yourself from all of this energy.

If you have a commute, take a listen to How to Survive Earth School.  It's a great way to remind yourself of the tools we use to process experiences.  

Do your best, don't stress too much.  This is something we're all just going to have to go through right now, but remember we are all in this together and together we can learn to not only survive but to thrive!

With Love

​​The bright lights and cheerful music can create an ironic backdrop when you're not feeling your best, or when the time of year coincides with sad anniversaries.

Yesterday was the anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting, which happened not too far away in Newtown, CT.  What a tragic event that was, and how awful for the families who must go into the Holiday season with the recollection of that day and the losses suffered.

In some ways, the Holidays operate as a large collaborative accounting of people's year.  I don't think we intend to, but we put an awful lot of pressure on each other at this time of year to "show up."  Personally, putting up lights, getting a tree, decorating it, and grabbing small gifts and making sure I don't forget anyone or anything starts to feel a bit forced when I'm trying to squeeze it into an already overwhelmed schedule.  

It's easy to feel like you just can't stack up at this time of year.  Even people who generally "have it all together" will fall to pieces at the Holidays if things aren't just so.  

Janice has said that the illusions and fears we hold about life will get bigger and bigger until we do something to address it.  I feel that the Holiday charade has gotten so large, with people literally running each other over to be the first in line, that it seems that the time has come to change how we do this a little bit.

If you're feeling down at the Holidays, try to hang on to the meaning in the season; not the fabricated version, but the intended meaning: gratitude, caring for each other and inner awareness.

Common Holiday Emotions and Tips to Manage Them:

Feelings Resulting from Perceived Lack - Lack is meaning anything that you don't have that you wish you did or think that you should.  Things that might fall into this category include money, time, success, having a family, or partner.  This may cause people to feel sad, frustrated, or even angry that things aren't different.

Tips to Manage: Instead of focusing on what you don't have or what you wish was different, make a list of things that you do have that you can be grateful for.  

• Money lack: If you don't have alot of money to buy people gifts, see what you do have and try to do something thoughtful that won't break the bank.  It doesn't help anyone for all of us to be spending ourselves into the poorhouse.  Making something is a wonderful way to show someone that you care, even if it's cardboard ornaments, or a reusable rice heating pad.  

• Time lack: If you feel like you don't have enough time to do what you want then take a look at where your time is going.  Keep track of your movements for three days.  Where does your time mostly go?  Sometimes awareness shows us that we aren't using time to it's greatest advantage.  If you want to go Holiday shopping, perhaps you can schedule that in over a few days, rather than trying to do a marathon store run.  Online shopping also makes it easier to manage time and shopping.  If you just wish you had more time to spend with loved ones, communicate that to them, and perhaps create space away from tech and tv to have some quality time.  No plan gets created if people don't express their interest or need for one!

• Lack in Success:  Like money lack, success lack often results from looking at what we don't have rather than what we do.  What have you accomplished this year?  If you take a look at everything that happened this year, you may be surprised to see that you did way more than you thought.  Don't compare yourself to someone else.  Everyone is fighting their own battle, and you don't know what someone else's life is like, no matter what pretense they may put up.  If you've taken steps to pursue your own happiness in any capacity this year, and I bet you have, then you have been, and continue to be, successful.

• Lack in Family or Partner Relationships: If you struggle with feeling that your personal relationships should be further along than they are or if you are coping with loneliness at the Holidays then consider why you feel this way.  Everything has two sides.   Relationships and families have their own stresses and pressures.  While it may seem attractive from the outside, getting involved and creating a family in the wrong circumstances will not solve your problem of loneliness.  Waiting for the "right" one may feel like an endless wait, but feeling like your life should be further along is pointless if the person you're meant to be with just hasn't arrived into your life yet.  Find a way to take the focus off of you, maybe by volunteering or giving back in some way.  Many, many elders spend the Holidays alone.  Again, be grateful for the ones in your life, spend time with them, and see what you can learn from the friendships and other connections you do have rather than pining for something you don't.

Feelings Resulting from Not Being Able to Do It All -  Juggling alot at the Holidays has become a skill that even a circus clown would find challenging.  I personally know many people who begin their Christmas shopping in September just to get ahead of the curve.  Between getting something special for the ones you love, trying to spend quality time, baking and cooking, preparing for Holiday dinners, and getting all the decorations up, you're somehow supposed to have time to relax and reflect on the season.  Many of us never get to that last part.

Tips to Manage:  What can you cut out without too much of a backlash, while still enjoying the season.  What, really, are your priorities, and what do you only think you should do?  Focus on your priorities, and let the other stuff go.  If you don't actually enjoy decorating the house, foundation to roof, in Christmas lights, then don't do it!  Invest your time in the things that will bring you joy, and you'll be more joyful - imagine that!

Feelings of Not Feeling Cared About - It's easy to feel slighted at the Holidays.  Everyone is running around crazy.  Especially if we have a belief of not being cared about, it's easy to find that proof in Holiday gifts or lack thereof, people not pitching in, or feeling that your good intentions are going unnoticed.  If you want to find out more about how to manage this particular belief, I suggest tuning into our podcast: How to Survive Earth School, available on Itunes and Soundcloud, for a special episode on How to Survive the Holidays!  


In Conclusion:
Be well, everyone.  Remember to shake it off, and I highly suggest taking one of Janice's classes on learnitlive.com to learn more about how energy and other people's emotions can easily be transferred to us.  It's really important, especially since most people are much more sensitive than they believe, that we all start understanding how we affect each other!

​- Christine

You'll be feeling great, and then all of the sudden out of nowhere you'll begin to feel a little off.  During these times, I can't quite place what happened.

It's human nature to feel bad sometimes.  In fact, I think that the ads and the tv commercials that imply that being all good all the time is the norm are doing us a great disservice.  Sure, being happy and excited about life is what we all want, BUT 

It doesn't help us to beat ourselves up for the feelings we have that we can't control.  

Treat yourself with love and respect.  Sometimes, we may not know what or why we are feeling a certain way.  During those times, rather than play into a routine (dissolve into sweatpants, get a pint of icrecream, throw on old reruns of Friends and pretend none of this every happened?) why not stop for a moment and really delve into what led you to feel this way.  

Often, we'll find that limiting beliefs create the illusion that something is wrong, when in fact, everything is just fine.

A limiting belief is anything which is based on supposed norms, expectations, possibilities, or abilities.  

We typically do not know what is a limiting belief and what is a real obstacle unless we have the presence of mind to question what we think and feel, but many people live with these false boundaries all their lives.  

People get swept up by the emotion, not realizing that the emotion is a sign post saying, "Please look at this..!"

So, when you find yourself feeling upset, think - really think - about what got you there.  And then question yourself, "Am I feeling low because I think I should be other than I am?  And if so, why do I think that?"

You may be surprised to find that you are putting alot of pressure on yourself.  Does that mean that we shouldn't work at changing or reaching for other things?  No.  But you'll be a lot more energized and excited if you don't pummel yourself any time you feel you aren't stacking up.

Here's some ways to get out of feeling sad:
1. Shake it off - when we move the body and breathe, we can often find renewed energy to work with.

2.  Affirm to yourself - I am a creative being living and growing at my own pace.  I respect the rate at which things happen, and I am grateful for the work I do every day.

3.  A great rule to live by - if you're tired, rest; if you're hungry, eat; if you're sad, cry; if you're angry, scream (into a pillow preferably) ; if you're energized, run; if you're happy, dance.  

So dance, and feel happy, because it all is ok or it will be soon.


- by Christine